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The female British schoolteachers of my youth were irate, nihilistic, fag-snorting closeted lesbians, almost to a man. Now a random fashion gripe: As a midget, I am utterly furious that the trend for bizarrely high shoes—Louboutin, Marc Jacobs, Balenciaga, etc. Am shocked by the low nasty-threshold of all concerned. As a loyal viewer and person with functioning eyes and ears, I can honestly say that the contestants are not at risk , my new favorite phrase. But advertising revenue helps support our journalism. And yet the whole world has gone into shock because Lisa Marie Nowak—the homicidal member of the NASA love triangle—turned out to be a nutcase. Below are steps you can take in order to whitelist Observer.

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Give that broad a good send-off. And so to Anna Nicole: As I write these words, I feel the grief groupies gathering with their armfuls of teddy bears and cellophane-wrapped flowers. We get it: you like to have control of your own internet experience. Which brings us to Anna Nicole Smith: As you are no doubt aware, I am frequently to be heard inveighing against porno-chic and slutty dressing in general.

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